theatre wonderland

Scrub nurse, are you listening,
On the table, the light is shining
A beautiful sight,
He's cutting tonight,
Operating in a theatre wonderland.

Tucked away is the gasman,
Here to cut is the surgeon
He hopes nothing goes wrong,
As he goes along,
Operating in a theatre wonderland.

In the theatre he removes the gallbladder,
Then pretends he hasnt cut the spleen,
Scrub nurse says: are you sure sir?
He'll say: Yes ma'am,
I can do the job
Just pretend you havent seen.

Later on, he'll conspire,
As his eyes begin to tire
To face unafraid,
The mistakes that his made,
Operating in a theatre wonderland.

The patient bleeds, ain't it thrilling,
The BP drops, aint it chilling
He'll panic and pray, the surgical way,
Operating in a theatre wonderland.

Merry Christmas all!!!!

I have a psychiatric dream

Dear doctors,

Let us not wallow in the valley of our despair. I say to you today my friends - even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.

I have a dream that one day psychiatrists will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all doctors are created equal and that psychiatrists on call, must too, review patients."

I have a dream that one day in the mayhem of the emergency department, the clinically depressed, the alcoholics, the suicidal nutcases of Suburbia, and the former doctors, now officially trained in psychobabble, will sit down together at the table of brotherhood and discuss each others problems.

I have a dream that one day even on the wards, in the outpatients, in the community, a psychiatric referral can be made, without the sweltering heat of refusal and excuses, and it will be transformed into an oasis of pleasant exchanges and prompt patient reviews.

I have a dream that my four little crazy patients, will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by their mania or stupor, but by the content of their delusions.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Accident and Emergency, with its vicious psychotics, little paranoid patients and little schizoid patients will be able to join hands with little obtrusive on-call psychiatrists as sisters and brothers in harmony.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every A&E department shall be exalted, and every referral made simple, the suicidal patient sectioned, the psychotic patient sedated, and the glory of the psychiatrist shall be revealed and all other A&E staff shall see it together.