The Stethoscope Bandits

Argh! I lost my stethoscope again! I must lose it every week, without fail! I dont know, I just have the tendency to leave it lying around - at the bedside, at the nurses station, in the doctors mess. Am I losing them? Or is there a stethoscope bandit?

I dont think I am the only one with this problem. I see many stethoscopeless doctors - we lower our guard, and our precious sidekick is gone! It just takes a second, a momentary lapse of concentration!

We just forget all about the swinging friend around our neck - put it down without thinking, catheterise a patient (for example), get an urgent bleep, and then our good old faithful tubes are out of our mind - and never to be seen again! Gone forever!

Not to worry, somehow I have the impression one doctor's loss is another doctors gain. One missing stethoscope is soon to be one found stethoscope - with a new owner!! It is the circle of life for stethoscopes, they live on, just with a different ear making different diagnoses! A stethoscope bandit has picked yet another victim!

It doesnt matter what you do to protect your stethy! Buy a pink one! Wrap a thousand rubber bands around it! Etch your name into the bell! It doesnt matter - the bandit will have some evil ways of making it his/her own!

You will often hear ringing on the wards or corridors "Hey, is that my stethoscope?" - and in reply "Naa, I have had this for ages!" and a look of utter disgust in your direction - for which there is no answer!

So I am stethoscope-less. Not to worry, I am on the prowl for a second hand one! I will be lurking, in the theatre changing rooms, scouring the cubicles, or ready to pounce in the Drs mess. I have donned my uniform, I will join the ranks of the stethoscope bandit! Beware!!